


The Angel that Stayed

by AidenRamblesOn



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, M/M, Regret, mention of McR76
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-11 00:01:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15302979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AidenRamblesOn/pseuds/AidenRamblesOn
Summary: Jack gets lost in his thoughts, and Jesse steps in.





	The Angel that Stayed

Jack padded into the kitchen, quietly going through the motions of his morning routine. Start coffee, grab the paper from the front step, fix a cup of coffee, sip it while making toast. Sit on the back porch. Watch the sunrise until there's enough light to read. Make another cup. Catch up on how the world is still going to shit. 

It was a good pattern. He never could get used to sleeping in. The early bird issue was ingrained deep in his veins. Jesse, on the other hand? He would sleep past noon if allowed. Sometimes, Jack would crawl back into bed with him, bury his face in his neck, and just lay there, enjoying the calm of his breath. But sometimes, Jack would wake him, bring him breakfast in bed. Sometimes they would go out, or play in the garden, or argue about getting more animals. Jack was content with the four cats. Jesse wanted a whole farm. 

Today, he let him sleep. He wanted the quiet. 

By the fourth cup of coffee, and the second time reading the paper front to back, he was shaking. Everything in him wanted to be out there, doing something. He was a soldier. He wasn't meant for quiet suburban life. He was supposed to be sleeping in abandoned buildings and carrying his life in a backpack, gun in hand and defeating the enemy. 

But he wasn't sure who the enemy was anymore. He wasn't even sure who he was anymore. 

Lena's hopeful voice played in his head. ('The world could always use more heroes!') and he scoffed, tossing the paper away from him, setting his glasses on the table. His gun-calloused hands rubbed over his face. 

He thought of Gabriel. His greatest sin had been turning his back on that man, who loved him more than anything else in this world. Funny enough, it was the rest of the world that Jack was more concerned with. Jesse could tell him it wasn't his fault until they were both in pine boxes and it wouldn't change a thing. He had failed in being human to the first person that ever loved him for who he was. 

They could have saved the world together. Instead, Gabriel was set on destroying it, and Jack could do nothing but sit back, and read about it in his morning paper, on the back porch of his quaint home, sipping at sweet coffee and munching on toast and jam. This wasn't him. This wasn't what he wanted. 

But if he went back into the field, he would have to face the man that stood in the center of all his regrets. And in the end, he would have a choice to make. Himself, or Gabriel. 

He would always choose Gabriel. 

He could feel the tears coming. His eyes stung behind his hands, and he didn't bother trying to stop them. His fingers grasped blindly at the dog tags beneath his shirt, clinging to those little pieces of metal. The last remaining shards of a life he would give anything to have back. 

Jesse deserved better. That boy had followed them into hell, devoted to the cause. Devoted to them. When they were ripped apart by Jack's negligence and Gabriel's anger, he waited. And when Jack found him, it was nothing but open arms and gentle kisses. Soothing away the pain from a sin that should never have been forgiven. He thought of the man he was now, sleeping peacefully in a warm bed, surrounded by too many blankets and too many cats. How he would urge Jack to eat, to sleep. "Let's go for a walk around the lake," and "you have to forgive yourself someday." 

An angel trapped in a new hell, clinging to a sinner that was too stubborn to simply die and save everyone the heartache. 

"Ya know, sugar, if you wanted to torture yourself, we could have watched the Notebook again."

He froze, eyes wide, hands shaking as the sliding glass door clicked shut behind him, and Jesse plopped down in the chair next to him. He'd obviously just woken up, eyes still bleary and hair a mess. He looked so beautiful in the morning light, sullied only by the obvious concern on his face. Jack looked away, unable to stand the pain it caused in his heart. 

Metal fingers trailed up his arm, coming to rest firmly on his bicep. "Talk to me, baby." The voice was so gentle, so soft and warm and worried and it was too much. 

"Go away." he grumbled, ripping away from the touch. 

A moment of silence. "Huh. Well, I'm afraid you have found the one thing I'm not able to do, darlin'. You're either gonna talk, or I'm gonna have to be the most annoying little shit I can be until you do. You got options, but I think you know which one is smarter."

He couldn't. There was no way to spill these thoughts without hurting him, and he had hurt him enough. 

They sat there, in tense silence, Jesse staring at him, Jack staring across the yard. 

Finally, Jesse sighed. "Alright so I guess we're doing this again. You're too stubborn to actually open up and get the help you need, so I'll have to pry you open." 

He caught the movement of Jesse leaning forward out of the corner of his eye. Crossing his arms over the table, resting his head on them. 

"You're burying yourself under a mountain of guilt. You're sitting here, reading about the world being a dumpster fire and you think it's your fault. You're the only man I know that can look a report of something happening across the world and tie it in to the fact that you spent an extra twenty bucks on a pair of jeans." He sighed. 

"And more than that, your hate for yourself goes so deep that even if I were to write you a fifteen page report on all the ways it's not your fault, you would still look yourself in the mirror and only see the things you've done wrong."

"It's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever seen. You're a good man who made some bad choices in some tough situations. I don't know a single person that could have been in your position and done any better." 

"I could have listened to him." Jack whispered, eyes closing at the tremble in his voice. 

"You're a goddamn idiot, you know that?" 

Jack flinched at the anger. Jesse continued. 

"You know what? Fine. You fucked up. You hurt him and he went AWOL and now the whole world is paying for it. But the part that your dumb brain refuses to see is that you're not the only one to blame. I saw the whole thing. I sat in the middle of ya'll's bed, listening to every single stupid fucking argument. I heard him tell you that it was all your fault, and I heard you tell him that you never asked for any of it. You wanted to help people. You wanted the world to be a place that kids could grow up safe in, and people could work and thrive and live in. They shoved you up on that podium and carved your fate into that damn statue and no matter how hard you begged him to pull you out of the darkness, he kept on pushing you further." 

Jesse stood, suddenly, chair tipping onto the ground behind him with a loud bang. Jack startled, turning towards him. His face was screwed up into a snarl, tears threatening at the edges of his eyes. 

"He was so fucking concerned with getting even that he never once thought about how bad he was hurting us. And you're stupid enough to sit here and believe every goddamn lie that fell out of his mouth. Gabriel Reyes was a good man that got caught up in all the bad in the world and couldn't handle it. He couldn't stand the fact that you had some kind of imaginary position over him. But guess what, Jack? I WAS THERE!" he screamed, pounding his chest. The tears spilled over, and Jack knew that he had pushed him too far. 

Or maybe this breakdown was a long time coming. 

"I was there after the meetings, listening to him ramble about the Golden Boy and I was there on missions, watching him getting more and more reckless, fudging reports to cover for him, and I was there in OUR bed when he pushed you away and told me to do the same thing. I made my choice. He made his. That's not your fault!" 

The brunette quieted, breathing heavy and heaving from the effort. Jack wanted to reach out, to offer some kind of comfort, but he wasn't sure that it would be welcomed. 

When Jesse spoke again, it was soft. Broken. 

"I miss him, too. But Gabriel Reyes died in that explosion. All that's left now is the shell of a man that we loved, fueled by misplaced anger and an insatiable need for revenge. We all fucked up. But he made his choice. He left us. And that's not our fault."

~

In the days that followed, Jack changed his morning routine. He stopped obsessing over the paper, stayed in bed. He watched the sunrise over the sleeping form of Jesse, pale light caressing his soft features in a way that reminded Jack of poetry. 

He would wrap his arms around him, and kiss him softly. The angel that had stayed, and delivered him from the hell he had created for himself.

**Author's Note:**

> This is loosely based on a thread on Twitter awhile ago. I would also like to apologize to Gabriel Reyes cause I love him more than air, but this has been stuck in my brain for awhile and I am a sucker for pain. Constructive criticism is always appreciated!!!


End file.
